The year is 2013...I mean really...It's 2013 people
I left 2012 on a sad note and 2013 was rung in with some uncertainty. It's only now that I'm in a place where I can share a little bit of what has been going on.
On Thanksgiving day at around 1pm, whilst rushing around helping my mom and dad prepare for the festivities, we received a phone call from a family member informing us that one of my cousins had succumbed to her depression and had taken her life. This news hit me with a force that I was not prepared for in any way.
Though my cousin and I differed in age and did not see each other very often we were able to form a relationship via Facebook. It was there that she began reaching out to me an efforts to keep that side of my family more connected with one another. We would chat here and there about random things; sushi, surfing, running (she was an avid runner) and athletics. She was always super positive, turning any negative comment I would make into a positive one. Despite her positivity, her demons from her past seemed to be inescapable to her.
Shelly was a strong, reserved woman, and really really smart. Traits that suited her well in her field of work. Shelly was a police officer and a damn good one at that...I remember asking her if she would let me off the hook if she ever pulled me over for speeding and her response was "hell no,I have to hold you responsible, but I wouldn't tell your mom" haha.
Now things changed seriously when she was nearly killed in the line of duty and was forced to return fire...killing the suspect. I don't care what anyone says, whether "deserved", accidental or justified in any way, killing a human being does not come without serious consequences. Shelly fell into serious depression and from what I've learned she battled it on and off for some time.
Then while we were still reeling from that horrible tragedy, my mother received word from her doctor that they had found a mass in her breast. My mother is an extremely strong woman, an matriarchal anchor in the often tumultuous sea that is my very large extended family. Seeing my mother in such a fearful state was almost too much to bear. Getting calls from the radiology department, various doctors and nurses, receiving paperwork and booklets from doctors explaining chemotherapy and different cancer-eliminating options was terrifying to everyone especially my mom.
Well just this week we got a call from the radiologist............clean,
The mass was benign and there is no traces of cancer in my mom's body. Oh man did the tears flow that day. We were all so overcome with emotion we could do nothing more than embrace eachother and cry.
I'm so thankful that my mother is still here with me, and I'm thankful for the time and the relationship I was able to share with Shelly. In this new year don't take anyone for granted. Spend real time with the ones you love and tell them how much you love them because we are never guaranteed tomorrow.
it's late and I think I've word vomited enough for now