How does one "sexy?"

So if you don't know, I'm a dancer. I'm not exactly sure why it is that I'm telling this story, but it's late as I'm writing this so just go with it.

Once I was dancing backup for an artist and in one particular part of the show, the singer was to run off stage to do a wardrobe change.  During the time while she was changing, we dancers were suppose to make our way to the front of the stage and "be sexy"

...lol...be sexy.

In rehearsals everyone just marked through the "sexy time" not really making any effort, assuming everyone would know what they were doing come showtime. Each time it got to that part in the show I would just kindof joke around and make weird faces to make the other dancers laugh.

The night of the show we did a quick run-through of counts and choreography then made our way backstage for hair and makeup.

Show starts, we're all dancing hard, hitting choreo hard. The energy onstage was great, the crowd was amazing, everything seems to be going off as planned. 

 So the musical cue hit and the singer runs off for wardrobe change as we all strut to the front of the stage. 


THEN... IT HIT ME-

As I looked to my left and to my right I could see  my fellow dancer serving up some SERIOUS sexual  chocolate, where as I was serving Danimals Yogurt realness. 

-I HAD NO FREAKING IDEA WHAT I WAS DOING!!!!
 I stood there in complete panic for what felt like 5 years, when in actuality it was probably 4 seconds.

 I had NOT fully thought through the fact that, come showtime, I'd have to actually have a "sexy" thinggy planned. 

I don't effin know how to be sexy yo!????

AND- if that's not bad enough, I could see the poor people in the front row directly in front of me.  While the entire crowd was jumping and dancing and yelling for the other dancers who were so effectively engaging, those poor souls in front of me just looked about as confused and uncomfortable as I was- awkwardly staring out into the audience making a pathetic attempt at licking my lips and grinding my hips around for like .5 seconds.  I'm pretty sure after that I just dropped into a squat and stayed there the entire time hahahaha

A SQUAT, A FREAKING SQUAT PEOPLE!!! THE LEAST SEXY BODY POSITION EVER!!!!!!!!

Oh man... that was seriously one of THEE longest few minutes of my life!

  

I wish I could say there was some dramatic life lesson to be learned from this, but if there is, I've yet to discover it.

For now it just ranks as one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. haha