Ramblings of a Boi: Lessons from a traveler

In front of the Moulin Rouge.  Paris

So yesterday, I was going through old pictures and decided to post pics from my various trips, to facebook.

I came across pics from a trip I took to Europe to visit and bond with some family that I really hadn't seen much my whole life.

Reminiscing on the experiences really got me thinking...

I remember, years ago, reading a quote by Maya Angelou that said 

"Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all peoples cry, laugh, eat, worry, and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and understand each other, we may even become friends."

This quote resonated and continues to resonate with me whenever I travel.

Sometimes we take for granted our freedoms, our rights...and sometimes we forget that we don't know everything and we don't always know best.  

I was lucky enough to spend a little over a month traveling through Europe with the family. They were so gracious and took me in and made me feel so comfortable (they even bought me Christmas presents...yaaaaasssssss).  

Seeing that in so many ways we were different, but also so similar was really interesting to me. I think that the travel experience, really helped to open my eyes and teach me to be patient and gracious with everyone I encounter. 

Which if you know anything about me, is a really difficult thing for me to do!

I'm thankful for my experiences... all of them. The painful ones that left me feeling like I was about to break. The ones that left me permanently scarred. Those experiences make you grow. They make you rise above. When you travel you realize that, no matter where we are from, and no matter the background or skin color, beliefs, educational history.....we all struggle, we all strive, we all dream....and we all love.  

It also helps me to realize that there are problems far beyond anything I am experiencing currently in my life.

I know what some people may be thinking...You went to Europe, not freaking war torn Uganda...sit down!

Listen, I get you. But just like there is Beverly Hills, here in LA, there is also Skid Row.

Two extremes can exist in the same element.

it's science y'all

Anyways. The trip to Europe was an amazing and rewarding experience that I think everyone, if able, should experience. I just wanted to share some thoughts and ramblings of a boi.

-ttyl
Jeshua

Now enjoy some pics from three of the 6 places I visited. ...or don't....do what you want 'cause you're a grown up...unless you're not...idk

España

La Sagrada familia..Barcelona, Spain 

Caracol con Salsa (Snails cooked in a tomato-garlic broth) with my little cousin. These were her favorite she told me. She was really eager for me to try them :D They were actually delicious hah

We had to go to the market pretty much everyday to buy food because they told me that in Europe you only buy food for the day, not for the week like in the States.  

Barcelona sunrise from my Tia and Tio's (aunt and uncle's) balcony 

Leaving Spain for France

France

Photos from the Musee De Louvre

Mona Lisa's smile be cray

"like WTF, where's our chocolate?"

Le Moulin Rouge

My obsession. Macaroons, baby!!!!!

L'arc de Triomphe

Going out on my own with some friends I met in Paris.....

They gave me a night to remember!!!

La Basilique du Sacre Coeur

View of Paris from The Eiffel Tower

Bavaria (Bavarian Alps, Germany)

Oberammergau cheese soup with fig ravioli and baked pears :D yummmmmm

 

I love the architecture in Bavaria. All the artwork on the houses and buildings reminds me of Hans Christian Anderson's fairy tales.

Authentic beer steins!!

My Tia Nuri loved to torture my by singing the Beatles REALLY REALLY loudly

My cousin Mandy

The Zugspitze Mountain 

The last Medieval Roman Fortress in Trier  

Música Monday: John Legend "Love in the Future"

Happy Monday friends!!

Yes I know, one doesn't usually associate Mondays with joy and or...uh...jubilation,  but everything is better with a little new music right??!!!

That's why every Monday will be Música Monday here on boifromipanema.com.
I will be sharing a different song, artist, or album for your listening pleasure!!

This is gonna be a serious catch all of musical genres, so hopefully there will be a little sabor for everyone.

Music from Bach to Beiber and everything in between!!!!



This week's selection is the new album by John Legend "Love in the Future" which is an album I'm sort of obsessed with at the moment.  

Some stand out tracks are "All of me" John Legend's ode to his wife Chrissy Teigan.

The track "Made to Love" has a cool Afro-industrial driving beat which I find completely infectious.

"Dreams" gives me so many feels it is almost unbearable!!!

And let us not forget the brilliant "Who do we think we are" which samples Jean Knight's "Mr.Big Stuff" and features rapper Rick Ross.

The entire album is totally solid, and totally worth a purchase 
IMHO..........

Take a listen for yourself!!

May a little dose of new music brighten your Monday and boost your week!

Ttyl,
Jeshua 

Looking past the first wave

This weekend I had a revelation whilst surfing.

Don't always go for the first wave you see. My experience has been to wait and wait for a set to come in. When I catch sight of the first wave I get anxious and try to take that one, only for it to die halfway to the shore.

Then once I turn around, I see all these awesome waves that I now cannot get to because I decided to paddle into the first one I saw.

Totally a life lesson.

As some of you may or may not have noticed, I have been absent on my blog for a few months now. It's not because I've been lazy or neglectful.  It's just that the last few months have been an adjusting/redirecting phase in my life.

   
One of many to come I'm sure.

 However this one has been especially pin-prickly 'cause I'm an artist and I'm sensitive!

Sooooo, I started dancing in the professional arena in late 2008 early 2009. I did some awesome stuff and got to work with some AMAZING artists, choreographers and talent. When I started getting a good amount of work I decided to quit school and dance full time. I also began to neglect my first passion.

Music.

As much as I missed singing and performing and the hustle and grind of school, I decided that ignoring that and really pouring myself into dance would get me where I wanted to go.
I guess my thought was hey, I love doing this and if this is the wave that is moving,  I'm going to take it all the way to shore.

It was really good while it lasted. I had some opportunities that maybe a handful of people in the world could say they've experienced.

Then, I noticed things began to change. I had a falling out with people that I worked with, a lot of my dance "friends" seemed to have alienated me, I got released from my contracts,  and then the big one...I broke my ankle!

In 2011 I went in for surgery to repair the torn tendons and ligaments and shave/repair the bone that had begun to heal very, very incorrectly. That surgery was a doozy. It took months to stand on it, much less walk on it.

I can honestly say that I never danced the same again.

I don't know if it was the fear or the pain or a mixture of both, but I completely lost my mojo and was DESPERATE to get it back.

I attended dance intensives.
I trained everyday at multiple studios.
I spent all my money on dance classes.
I drove ridiculously far to attend schools and studios with great training.

As much as I worked and loved it (and still do love it) I felt myself being called and pushed in a different direction. Despite feeling this push, I wanted so badly to hold on to this thing that I once was. This ideal that I thought I had to reach again or I would feel like a total failure. I continued to ignore my intuition but gradually, I was getting more music offers, more opportunities to perform at different places. The tide started shifting and more time had to be focused on music and writing music than going to the studio to train.

I had some really great people sit me down and really make me examine what it is that I wanted.
I guess the Taurus in me refused to give in without a fight.

Well, fast forward to this summer--mid June.

One of the studios that I train at was having an audition for a scholarship program. Its a really elite program that delivers on amazing training and a top notch professional career. The day of the audition I told myself, if I get into this program then this is God's way of affirming my direction. If I don't get it, it's REdirection time.

Well I got pretty far through the audition and at one point I actually thought I had it in the bag, but...last round....I....got....CUT!

So this decision triggered a major change in the course my life was taking.

I did my share of crying and moping.

Not because of the audition itself--an audition is an audition. They come and go like the wind.

I mourned for the path I had laid out for myself.

I spent so much time fighting the path God has laid out for me that I couldn't see all the blessing waiting for me just beyond the first wave.  I was so anxious to get where I wanted to go that I invested everything I had into that first wave without looking beyond it to see that there was an amazing set coming in behind it.

Enough with the soap opera bull sheep.......there have been major changes happening in my life. Lots of really cool things!!! Things that never would have come to me had I continued on the path I was on.

I know dance will always be a part of my life.  I love it far too much to let it go completely, but now I feel I have a better understanding of how it fits in with the rest of my dreams/goals.

I'm hoping to get back into a few classes soon...just for myself, but lately it's still been slightly too painful to walk into a studio. I know it will get better with time and yes, I know it may not seem like big deal to some, but it was once everything to me.

I suppose if I've learned anything from this experience, it's that listening and being open to the path laid out for me turns out way better than trying to force something that isn't working.  Sometimes it just takes some MAJOR patience to see beyond the first wave, wait it out for the big set right behind it.

But what do I know?

-just some random ramblings of a boi

I am unfriendly

in my dressing room before a show...you got it...door closed and all alone!

Well....actually, I'm not! Or at least I don't think I am....
Buuuutttt, there are some people who would disagree.

I mean, even a couple of my friends have admitted to me that they thought I was really stuck up before they got to know me; and thought I was a total snob because I didn't talk to them in dance classes or I had a "don't mess with me" look on my face.

Well, as you can probably imagine, I was totally confused by this.

"WHAT?  ME???? AN UNFRIENDLY SNOB?"

I DEF don't feel like I'm in any position to think I'm above anyone...

except for people who say carmle instead of caramel...I'm totally better than you

 After some crying self observation, I think I've begun to discover/understand the root of the problem.

So, 1. I'm über shy and awkward!

Like seriously, I get anxiety having to go to the bank and talk to a teller (ATM ftw!)
I get nervous when I meet new people or when strangers try to make conversation. I get nervous when there is a group of people that are all friends and I only know like one or two people.

ughhhh, I can't believe I'm admitting this -_-

When at "Hollywood" or industry parties, you can usually find me posted in the food area instead of networking like a smart business man would.
 I'm like "Hi food, you can be my friend and we can hang out all night, we don't need anyone! Perf!"

Ok, now this one seems to be a REAL biggie......

2. I can get like, really, really intense and hyper-focused.

When I'm in dance classes, I get really in-the-zone.  Because I'm so freakin' shy I guess I just pour everything into my training and if I have a pissed face, it is only because I'm really hard on myself.  It's not directed toward anyone...for the most part lol.

Oh.. and before a show?...omg...don't even try to talk to me while I'm in the makeup chair.  I am taking that time to just zero in on everything, and between sets or shows I will usually curl up in the dressing room all by myself.

It's not that I'm trying to be rude or anything...I just need that time for my own sanity and to calm my nerves..and honesty...sometimes it's just easier to be alone.

I mean, I want to be social.... I want to be friendly...I guess, sometimes I just don't really know how.

It just sucks that people misconstrue my shyness for arrogance. :(

now I just feel whiney *rme* 

I think I definitely have to learn how to take the person I am at home,with my friends and family, who I am onstage and translate it into who I want to be in social situations.....

Just part of my life journey I suppose or maybe just some more ramblings of a Boi.




note to self: ok Jeshua, no more writing at 3 am....

Smothered and Covered

So now that it's summer time, the nights are warm, inviting and just begging to be spent out on adventures. This cover happened after one such adventure

...at four in the morning...

when I was just getting home.

(sigh)

 Why I decided to sing at that unholy hour of the morning is beyond my comprehension...

alas...

My cover of John Legen'd Ordinary People :D

Bidding Adieu

Last hour before my birthday.

 Thank you 22. You treated me well.

 I made mistakes and learned, I loved and lost (too many in my opinion but that's not up to me). 

 I grieved, I rejoiced.

 I traveled, I worked.

 I rode boats, planes and trains.

 I made new friends and found family. 

 I rekindled relationships.

 I made memories that will last forever. 

 I created and I destroyed.

 I had highs and lows.

 I cried.

 My heart broke. 

 I felt pain. 

 I witnessed suffering but I experienced love.

 I laughed.

 I saw new life begin.

 I attended weddings, baby showers and birthday parties.

 I went to hospitals and funerals.

 I fought for what I believe in.

 I made poor choices.

 I gave into pressures. 

 I discovered myself as an artist, musician and dancer.

 I struggled with my mind and found confidence in my spirit.

 I triumphed and failed.

 I found purpose and made efforts to seek God's plan for my life.

 I doubted and believed.

 I felt betrayed and alone but I was lifted up by the ones who loved me.

 I gave.

 I was broke...no bounty but God provided.

 I auditioned and went to castings.

 I was rejected and redirected.

 I performed.

 I strummed my guitar and caressed the keys of my piano. 

 I sang and wrote music.

 I whispered and said things I can't take back -- I spoke words of encouragement.

 I am thankful
 for those who have been there for me-
 for those who have tried to break my spirit -

because it has shown me that in life there will be storms and trials, false friends and unexpected allies, but how you cope with them reveals the purpose and plan for WHO YOU ARE and who YOU CAN BE. 

thank you 22. 

adieu 

I am my hair

Name: Jeshua

Age: 22

Location: Los Angeles, California

Occupation: Dancer,  Vocalist, Musician







When I was young, I had really curly hair.

When I was just a toddler the ringlets looked cute, and my mama left it long. As I got older, I got a "proper" boy's haircut, meaning short and cropped on the side with a slight quiff on top.

I would say I wore that hairstyle for my entire childhood-adolescent years.

The first time I really noticed that my hair was different than the other boys was on picture day of my 6th grade year. All the boys in my class were wearing their hair in spikes (an ode to the early 2000's) and naturally, at that age, I wanted to look cool like all the other boys in my class.

I asked the grandma of one of my friends to comb my hair like she had combed her grandson's.
She agreed and pulled out her gel, spray bottle and comb.  However, when she put the products into my hair and began "spiking" it, my hair immediately became very course and thick and almost matted.

                              Nice.

She then let out a little chuckle and told me that I "didn't have good hair for spiking" which immediately gave me a slight complex.

Because that's exactly what a 12 year old boy wants to hear, right?

I mean, it wasn't bad enough that I was the ONLY Latino boy in my class, slightly overweight, glasses-wearing, super socially awkward and way too self-aware for my age.

Now I added to the list..."weird hair".

You see I didn't hear the "for spiking" part, all I heard was "you don't have good hair" which in turn was translated as "you're not good". It may not seem like a big deal for some, but when you are already teased and out cast for being different, it just seems like another leaf in the pile.

But that's all a story for another time.
   
Anyway.

I went through my teen years fighting against my hair. Keeping it short, straightening it, and gelling it to death attempting to keep puffiness at bay.

In high school, I attended a private school that was very conservative and a bit repressive when it came to any sort of artistic endeavor...or individuality for that matter.

 I mean, they didn't allow us to dance at all because they thought it would lead to sex....really...not joking. No school dances, no talent shows. Nada. We weren't even allowed to talk about it...lame.

They were adamant that boys hair be no more than three inches long on top and the sides could not cover your ear or touch the collar of your shirt in the back. Let me tell you, they were vigilant when it came to the enforcing of these rules.

It wasn't until I graduated from high school and got myself away from ignorant, small-minded people, that I really discovered who I was as an artist/dancer/ musician/performer.

That's when I decided to let my hair be free. It was sort of a metaphor for all the junk I had carried around for all those years and a sort of rebellion to the ones who thought long hair was only for hippies and drug addicts.

I guess I kinda saw it as a way to say "hey, look! I have long hair, I am still a good person, I still love God, I don't steal, I have manners."

It was a polite middle finger to the world, I suppose.

So, four years later my hair is long and natural and I love it and I have no intention of cutting it anytime soon. Funny enough, it has kind of taken on a life of its own.  From my arsenal of hair products to all the attention and stares I receive, I have come to realize that I am my hair.


Last week I had the awesome opportunity to meet the WONDERFUL chica from DailyCurlz.com. We were both rocking the big curls in Miami! Check out her blog and YouTube for great tips, product recommendations and tutorials for curly hair.  Connect with Daily Curlz on Twitter and like her page on Facebook!

"I've had enough! This is my prayer, that I'll die living just as free as my hair. I've had enough, I'm not a freak. --it's all the glory that I bear.  I am my hair"